If there is something in this world that can damage your career and destroy it in the blink of an eye, making everyone around you hate and resent you, it’s a failed marketing strategy. By this, I mean “failing in the marketing method itself,” where the approach is logically, professionally, and sometimes even morally wrong. The term marketing is much broader and more comprehensive than I can cover here, and I don’t claim to have the expertise to do so. However, I am talking about the basics or fundamentals for any user, or even any person. And if I were to speak more frankly, I would call them “stupid marketing methods.”
Email Marketing – Abyssinia 1669
Yes, I mean this method is so overused that I feel like it has existed since 1669, and it simply works as follows:
Prepare a list containing 5015 people, entities, or different companies “without their permission or consent… simply anyone who has emailed you before, any website or blog owner, anyone whose name has crossed your path, or you can even buy some emails. Do anything to gather them,” then send a mass email talking about yourself, your work, your creativity, and attach your CV, along with some of your work, and feel free to include some future ideas and personal advice for them.
Irritating Spliced Links
And yes, I mean they multiply by splicing and expand with heat, cold, and humidity. The concept is simple:
Put your website link everywhere around you. Anywhere you find a text box, or wherever you see people talking about something specific, insert yourself into the conversation and drop your website or blog link, telling them how smart you are and how you’ve already discussed this topic – even before the era of email marketing we just talked about.
Repulsive Exaggeration
Create an “extraordinary” website offering “extraordinary” services, like a massive site discussing marketing (because that’s such a unique idea no one has done before). Then start exaggerating the numbers and the fantastic sales volumes you’ve achieved. Show your vast audience the immense joy your “extraordinary” product has brought to people, and don’t hesitate to include some quotes from major sites, tweaking them to fit your “extraordinary” site.
CEO & Founder
Include in your BIO phrases like “CEO & Founder” of a fictitious company, or one so small it only includes your name. And why not tell them you’re an Entrepreneur too – what’s the problem? Or you could call yourself an expert in something – of course, “without” exaggeration.
They Call It a Quote!!
Take credit for other people’s work. If you’re a designer, use some of their designs directly or indirectly to suggest that they are your creation. Put them up boldly, and if you feel cornered and it becomes evident to everyone, boast that you found it on the internet and the internet is for everyone. Claim that you have the right to steal because we’re in an age of information freedom. In the end, what’s important is that some clients believed it was your work.
Expert in Everything
Create a personal website and list all the latest programs and technologies, then tell people you know them all and are an expert in each – even if each is a specialization in itself. What’s wrong with claiming expertise in Maya, 3D Max, web programming, iPhone, Android, and JavaScript – and of course, I almost forgot Photoshop, a program everyone knows. Typing the names of programs on the keyboard is… free.
Robin Hood
Pirate some content from the internet and then distribute it to those around you and your followers for free, under the guise of “benefit.” There’s nothing wrong with gaining some fame too because you have free content that exists all over the world in paid forms – but you distribute it for free to the poor, needy, and underprivileged.
Exploiting Fame
Personally, I love this pathetic method. It’s simply using the name of a well-known or emerging site “Arabic or foreign” and talking about it, twisting the topic to end up promoting yourself and your business. Make sure this method is so clever and subtle that everyone notices it.
The Kind Translator
Yes, why not? An article in a foreign language talks about that strange site called “Facebook.” Translate it, replace “Facebook” with “your name” or your site’s name, and publish it. Readers are stupid and don’t understand that language called “English,” which only you know.
Person of the Year – TIMES
Use phrases like “Exclusive Interview with So-and-so = which means you – So-and-so reveals the secrets of working on his historical marvel.” If you like, why not create a news site, dedicate it to yourself, and plan seven weekly interviews with yourself and seven daily articles about your work and plans. And don’t forget to sprinkle in some failed assassination attempts.
In the End
This post is not to discourage but to attempt reform. Much of what I discussed above is prevalent in our Arab community, and we still blame ourselves for lagging in some fields, “or most of them.” To elevate and reach the level of those who innovate the services we use, we must elevate our thinking and our marketing methods, and we should remind each other of that.